JOKES OF MULLA NASRUDIN-21, osho jokes on mulla,

JOKES OF MULLA NASRUDIN-21




"Mulla," asked a man meeting old Mulla nasrudin, who was always carefree inspite of having had more than his share of life's troubles, "how do you manage to remain so cheerful and calm?"
"WELL," replied Nasrudin, "I HAVE JUST LEARNED TO CO-OPERATE WITH THE INEVITABLE."


"And have you made your will, Mulla?"
"INDEED I HAVE," said Mulla nasrudin. "ALL OF ME FORTUNE GOES TO THE DOCTOR THAT SAVES MY LIFE."


Mulla Nasrudin supervised the building of his own tomb.
At last, after one shortcoming after another had been righted, the mason came for the money.
"It is not right yet, builder," said the Mulla.
"Whatever more can be done with it?" asked the mason.
"WE STILL HAVE TO SUPPLY THE BODY," said Nasrudin.



Before his death, Mulla Nasrudin wrote this will.
"The law prescribes that my dependents must receive certain fixed proportions of my possessions and money.

"I HAVE NOTHING: LET THIS BE DIVIDED ACCORDANCE WITH THE ARITHMETICAL FORMULAE OF THE LAW. THAT WHICH IS LEFT OVER IS TO BE GIVEN TO THE POOR."


Scene: The Pearly Gates. St. Peter is interviewing a new arrival.
St Peter: Name?
New arrival: Mulla Nasrudin.
St. Peter: Did you ever gamble, drink or smoke when you were on earth?
Nasrudin: No.
St. Peter: Did you ever steal, lie cheat or swear?
Nasrudin: No.
St. Peter: Were you promiscuous?
Nasrudin: Oh, no.
St. Peter: THEN TELL ME -- WHAT KEPT YOU THERE SO LONG?


WHO IS MULLA NASRUDIN

Mulla Nasrudin Origins and History Mulla Nasrudin tales have been passed down for many centuries. It is thought that the Mulla Nasrudin character is based on a real man who lived in the 1300s. However, many countries claim to be the origin of the actual Mulla Nasrudin character and his tales, and it remains uncertain where the man lived and the stories started.

But whatever the origins of Mulla Nasrudin are, pinpointing them has become a trivial point. As generations went by, new stories were added, others were modified, and the character and his tales spread to broader regions. The types of themes and wisdom in his tales have become legendary products of a variety of people’s observations and imaginations. And although most of them depict Nasrudin in an early small village setting, the tales deal with concepts that have relevance to today’s universe and people.

Today, Mulla Nasrudin stories are told in a wide variety of regions, and have been translated into many languages. (It can only be assumed that some regions independently developed a character similar to Mulla Nasrudin, and the stories have become assimilated together.)

In many regions, Mulla Nasrudin is a major part of the culture, and is quoted or alluded to frequently in daily life. Since there are thousands of different Nasrudin stories, one can be found to fit almost any occasion.

Sufis also use Nasrudin stories frequently as learning and meditation tools, similar to the way Zen Buddhism practitioners use koans.

REFERENCE BOOKS ON AMAZON

The Humorous Stories of Mulla Nasrudin 
The Funny Tales of Mulla Nasrudin 
Timeless Tales of Mulla Nasrudin 
The Inscrutable Mulla Nasrudin Episodes

 

JOKES OF MULLA NASRUDIN-20 , osho jokes on mulla , MULLA NASRUDIN , WHO IS MULLA NASRUDIN, Humorous Stories of Mulla Nasrudin , Funny Tales of Mulla Nasrudin ,

JOKES OF MULLA NASRUDIN-20



When old Mulla Nasrudin was asked why he talked to himself, he replied: "IT IS BECAUSE IN THE FIRST PLACE, I LIKE TO TALK TO A SMART MAN, AND IN THE SECOND PLACE, BECAUSE I LIKE TO HEAR A SMART MAN TALK."




Mulla Nasrudin's wife had difficulty getting to sleep and, at three o'clock in the morning, she awoke the Mulla and said, "Mulla, you never make love to me like you did when we got married forty years ago."
"Please, Darling," answered the Mulla, "I have got a busy day tomorrow. Go to sleep.
"But," she persisted, "you used to be a romantic. You used to bite me on the fingers, on my neck, on my ears -- Why don't you do it any more?"
"Darling," the Mulla explained wearily, "such nonsense is for newly-weds. We are too old."
"Just once you should bite me like you did forty years ago."
"All right,' said the Mulla, as he got out of bed yawning.
"But where are you going?" asked his wife.
"TO THE BATHROOM FOR MY TEETH," said Nasrudin.



She did not approve of smoking and when Mulla Nasrudin, the newcomer, got into the carriage and lit his pipe, she could not help letting him know.
"Do you know that my husband is sixty years of age and he never put a pipe in his mouth?"
"M'AM," said Nasrudin, "I AM SIXTY-FIVE AND I NEVER PUT IT ANYWHERE ELSE."




You certainly seem in excellent health," said the young physician to the octogenerian, Mulla Nasrudin. "What's your secret?"
"I have kept off drink and women Doctor," said the old Mulla firmly. "Never gone out with a girl or touched a drop in my whole life."
Just then there was a crash and a terrified female screamed from the adjoining room.
"What on earth is that?" asked the doctor in alarm.
"THAT'LL BE FATHER CHASING THE MAID" snapped the grey-beard. "HE'S DRUNK AGAIN!"



When Mulla Nasrudin was ninety, he was asked how he had managed to have such a long life, "I believe," said the Mulla, "that it's due to the fact that I never smoked, drank or touched a girl -- UNTIL I WAS NINE YEARS OF AGE."


WHO IS MULLA NASRUDIN

Mulla Nasrudin Origins and HistoryMulla Nasrudin tales have been passed down for many centuries. It is thought that the Mulla Nasrudin character is based on a real man who lived in the 1300s. However, many countries claim to be the origin of the actual Mulla Nasrudin character and his tales, and it remains uncertain where the man lived and the stories started.

But whatever the origins of Mulla Nasrudin are, pinpointing them has become a trivial point. As generations went by, new stories were added, others were modified, and the character and his tales spread to broader regions. The types of themes and wisdom in his tales have become legendary products of a variety of people’s observations and imaginations. And although most of them depict Nasrudin in an early small village setting, the tales deal with concepts that have relevance to today’s universe and people.

Today, Mulla Nasrudin stories are told in a wide variety of regions, and have been translated into many languages. (It can only be assumed that some regions independently developed a character similar to Mulla Nasrudin, and the stories have become assimilated together.)

In many regions, Mulla Nasrudin is a major part of the culture, and is quoted or alluded to frequently in daily life. Since there are thousands of different Nasrudin stories, one can be found to fit almost any occasion.
Sufis also use Nasrudin stories frequently as learning and meditation tools, similar to the way Zen Buddhism practitioners use koans.


WHO IS MULLA NASRUDIN

Mulla Nasrudin Origins and HistoryMulla Nasrudin tales have been passed down for many centuries. It is thought that the Mulla Nasrudin character is based on a real man who lived in the 1300s. However, many countries claim to be the origin of the actual Mulla Nasrudin character and his tales, and it remains uncertain where the man lived and the stories started.

But whatever the origins of Mulla Nasrudin are, pinpointing them has become a trivial point. As generations went by, new stories were added, others were modified, and the character and his tales spread to broader regions. The types of themes and wisdom in his tales have become legendary products of a variety of people’s observations and imaginations. And although most of them depict Nasrudin in an early small village setting, the tales deal with concepts that have relevance to today’s universe and people.

Today, Mulla Nasrudin stories are told in a wide variety of regions, and have been translated into many languages. (It can only be assumed that some regions independently developed a character similar to Mulla Nasrudin, and the stories have become assimilated together.)

In many regions, Mulla Nasrudin is a major part of the culture, and is quoted or alluded to frequently in daily life. Since there are thousands of different Nasrudin stories, one can be found to fit almost any occasion.

Sufis also use Nasrudin stories frequently as learning and meditation tools, similar to the way Zen Buddhism practitioners use koans.

REFERENCE BOOKS

The Humorous Stories of Mulla Nasrudin 
The Funny Tales of Mulla Nasrudin 
Timeless Tales of Mulla Nasrudin 
The Inscrutable Mulla Nasrudin Episodes

   







 

JOKES OF MULLA NASRUDIN -19 , osho jokes on mulla , MULLA NASRUDIN , WHO IS MULLA NASRUDIN, Humorous Stories of Mulla Nasrudin , Funny Tales of Mulla Nasrudin ,

JOKES OF MULLA NASRUDIN -19




A preacher was giving a sermon on the dangers of drinking and driving.
"Remember, my friends," he said to the assembled congregation, "whiskey and petrol don't mix."
"They do," muttered Mulla Nasrudin at the back of the mosque to his neighbour, "BUT THEY TASTE AWFUL."



Mulla Nasrudin, a castaway, was washed ashore after many days on the open sea. The island on which he landed was populated by savage cannibals who tied him, dazed and exhausted, to a thick stake. They then proceeded to cut his arms with their spears and drink his blood. This continued for several days until the Mulla could no longer stand it.
He called the cannibal king and said, "You can kill me, but this torture with the spears has got to stop. DAMMIT, I AM TIRED OF BEING STUCK FOR THE DRINKS."



"Is there any reason why the board should not draft you into the army, Mulla?"
"Yes, I have defective eyesight," said Mulla Nasrudin.
"Are you able to substantiate that claim?"
"WELL -- HERE'S A PHOTOGRAPH OF MY WIFE."



Mulla nasrudin rushed into a pub and said, "Quick.... gimme a treble whiskey and two pints of the best bitter! I must have a drink before the trouble starts!"
The startled barman hastily poured the drinks which the Mulla downed in a trice.
"Now then," said the barman, "what's all this about? When is the trouble going to start?"
"RIGHT NOW!" answered Nasrudin. "I CAN'T PAY FOR MY DRINKS!"


"Father, I want to get married," announced Mulla Nasrudin's son one morning.
"No, my boy, you are not wise enough," said the Mulla.
"When will I be wise enough?" asked the lad.
"WHEN YOU GET RID OF THE IDEA THAT YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED," said 
Nasrudin.


WHO IS MULLA NASRUDIN

Mulla Nasrudin Origins and HistoryMulla Nasrudin tales have been passed down for many centuries. It is thought that the Mulla Nasrudin character is based on a real man who lived in the 1300s. However, many countries claim to be the origin of the actual Mulla Nasrudin character and his tales, and it remains uncertain where the man lived and the stories started.

But whatever the origins of Mulla Nasrudin are, pinpointing them has become a trivial point. As generations went by, new stories were added, others were modified, and the character and his tales spread to broader regions. The types of themes and wisdom in his tales have become legendary products of a variety of people’s observations and imaginations. And although most of them depict Nasrudin in an early small village setting, the tales deal with concepts that have relevance to today’s universe and people.

Today, Mulla Nasrudin stories are told in a wide variety of regions, and have been translated into many languages. (It can only be assumed that some regions independently developed a character similar to Mulla Nasrudin, and the stories have become assimilated together.)

In many regions, Mulla Nasrudin is a major part of the culture, and is quoted or alluded to frequently in daily life. Since there are thousands of different Nasrudin stories, one can be found to fit almost any occasion.

Sufis also use Nasrudin stories frequently as learning and meditation tools, similar to the way Zen Buddhism practitioners use koans.

REFERENCE BOOKS

The Humorous Stories of Mulla Nasrudin 
The Funny Tales of Mulla Nasrudin 
Timeless Tales of Mulla Nasrudin 
The Inscrutable Mulla Nasrudin Episodes

   

MULLA NASRUDIN -5

J MULLA NASRUDIN -5

Once Mulla Nasrudin gave his son this solid advice: "Nothing I say, Son, will keep you from drinking. You will go after the girls as well, no matter what I think. BUT WITH WOMEN, BOY, KEEP THIS THOUGHT OF YOUR FATHER'S IN MIND -- ONE AT A TIME, ONE AT A TIME."


Mulla Nasrudin ran to an appointment in a nearby town stark naked. People asked him why.
"I WAS IN SUCH A HURRY TO GET DRESSED THAT I FORGOT MY CLOTHES."




"I can see in the dark." boasted Mulla Nasrudin one day in the teahouse.
"If that's so, why do we sometimes see you carrying a light through the streets?"
"ONLY TO PREVENT OTHER PEOPLE FROM COLLIDING WITH ME."




Mulla Nasrudin went to see a rich man.
"Give me some money."
"Why?"
"I want to buy an elephant.
"If you have no money, you can't afford to keep an elephant."
"I CAME HERE," said Nasrudin, "TO GET MONEY, NOT ADVICE."




When a preacher had delivered what he was aware was perhaps his worst sermon. he was surprised to have Mulla Nasrudin, one of his listeners, praise it.
'Why do you say that??" asked the preacher.
"BECAUSE. said Nasrudin, "I DON'T LIKE PREACHING OF ANY KIND AND THAT SERMON OF YOURS WAS JUST AS CLOSE TO NO PREACHING AS I EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE."






\ 

JOKES OF MULLA NASRUDIN -3

JOKES OF MULLA NASRUDIN -3

It was their first quarrel. The Mulla was coming off worst until he brought his bride's family into the argument.
"Your father is an old drunkard," he stated with venom. "Your mother is a nagger. and your brother is an idle layabout."
"Can't you say one decent thing about my family?" she asked, sarcastically.
"YES, JUST ONE," replied Nasrudin. "THEY WERE ALL OPPOSED TO OUR MARRIAGE."






"Do you believe that the moonlight makes people silly, Mulla?" asked the bride after the honeymoon.
"Yes Dear," remarked Mulla Nasrudin from behind his evening paper. "I PROPOSED TO YOU IN THE MOONLIGHT."




They had been married three months, and she said, "Are you satisfied with our married life, Mulla?"
"Yes," replied Nasrudin. "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF IT."




"Hello, Mulla. I have not seen you for a month. How are things going with you?"
"Oh,so-so. I have been married since I last saw, you," said Mulla Nasrudin.
"So I heard. As a matter of fact. I knew your wife before you married her."
"WELL, THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN ME? ' asked Nasrudin.




"Now that we are married," she said to Mulla Nasrudin, "perhaps I can point out a FEW OF YOUR defects."
"Don't bother, dear," replied Nasrudin. "I KNOW ALL ABOUT THEM. IT'S THOSE DEFECTS THAT KEPT ME FROM GETTING A BETTER WIFE THAN YOU."


REFERENCE BOOKS

The Humorous Stories of Mulla Nasrudin 
The Funny Tales of Mulla Nasrudin 
Timeless Tales of Mulla Nasrudin 
The Inscrutable Mulla Nasrudin Episodes

 



\

JOKES OF MULLA NASRUDIN -2

JOKES OF MULLA NASRUDIN 

Everything was in readiness for the marriage ceremony. The groom and the best man had arrived. But the groom, Mulla Nasrudin, was uneasy, apprehensive.
"What's worrying you, Mulla?" asked the best man. "Have you lost the ring?"
"No," answered Nasrudin with a sigh. "I HAVE GOT THE RING? BUT I HAVE LOST MY ENTHUSIASM."



Mulla Nasrudin decided to settle down and narrowed his choice between a beautiful but dumb doll and an opera singer. He finally chose brains and culture and married the singer. They spent their wedding night at a swanky hotel. When Nasrudin opened his eyes the next morning and the dawn's early light began to shine upon his bride, he looked at her and shuddered and cried out: "SING FOR GOD'S SAKE SING."





  Returning from his holiday, Mulla Nasrudin asked for two weeks more in which to get married.
"But you just had two weeks off," said the boss. "Why didn't you get married then?"
"WHAT, AND RUIN MY HOLIDAY?"


"I don't know why your father does not like me," she said to Mulla Nasrudin at their wedding reception.
"Neither do I," replied Nasrudin. "AFTER ALL, MONEY, BRAINS AND LOOKS ARE NOT EVERYTHING."




After three weeks of marriage she accused Mulla Nasrudin of not loving her as much as he did when they were first married. "You used to get up and light the FIRE every morning," she said. "And now you let me get up and do it."
"Nonsense, my love," answered Nasrudin. "YOU GETTING UP TO LIGHT THE FIRE MAKES ME LOVE YOU ALL THE MORE."

JOKES OF MULLA NASRUDIN

JOKES OF MULLA NASRUDIN 

Mulla Nasrudin Origins and HistoryMulla Nasrudin tales have been passed down for many centuries. It is thought that the Mulla Nasrudin character is based on a real man who lived in the 1300s. However, many countries claim to be the origin of the actual Mulla Nasrudin character and his tales, and it remains uncertain where the man lived and the stories started.

But whatever the origins of Mulla Nasrudin are, pinpointing them has become a trivial point. As generations went by, new stories were added, others were modified, and the character and his tales spread to broader regions. The types of themes and wisdom in his tales have become legendary products of a variety of people’s observations and imaginations. And although most of them depict Nasrudin in an early small village setting, the tales deal with concepts that have relevance to today’s universe and people.

Today, Mulla Nasrudin stories are told in a wide variety of regions, and have been translated into many languages. (It can only be assumed that some regions independently developed a character similar to Mulla Nasrudin, and the stories have become assimilated together.)

In many regions, Mulla Nasrudin is a major part of the culture, and is quoted or alluded to frequently in daily life. Since there are thousands of different Nasrudin stories, one can be found to fit almost any occasion.
Sufis also use Nasrudin stories frequently as learning and meditation tools, similar to the way Zen Buddhism practitioners use koans.


Mulla Nasruddin Jokes

"Do you love me, Mulla?" whispered the girl.
"Of course I do," Mulla Nasrudin whispered back.
"Will you marry me then?" she asked.
"LET'S NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT?" said Nasrudin.



Mulla Nasrudin in the upper berth was awakened by a persistent tapping from below.
"I am terribly cold down here. I wonder if you mind getting me a blanket," said a lady's voice.
"I have a better idea," the Mulla replied sleepily. "Let's pretend we are married."
"That sounds like a lovely idea," she giggled.
"GOOD," said Nasrudin rolling over. 'NOW GO GET YOUR OWN DAMN BLANKET."



Mulla Nasrudin constantly irritated his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how bad the situation, he would always say, "It could have been worse."
To cure him of this annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely black, so dreadful, that even Nasrudin could find no hope in it. Approaching him at the club bar one day, one of them said, "Mulla, Did you hear what happened to George? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, then turned the gun on himself!"
"Terrible," said the Mulla "But it could have been worse."
"How in hell," asked his dumbfounded friend, "could it possibly have been worse?"
"Well," said Nasrudin, "IF IT HAD HAPPENED THE NIGHT BEFORE! I WOULD BE DEAD NOW."



Mulla Nasrudin was round at his fiancee's home, having a serious talk with her father.
"Sir, I'd like to marry your daughter," he announced .
His girl's father looked at him.
"Have you seen my wife yet?" he asked.
"OH, YES SIR," replied Nasrudin. "BUT IF YOU DON'T MIND, I WOULD STILL PREFER YOUR DAUGHTER, SIR."



Mulla Nasrudin was in the home of his fiancee, being given the once-over by her parents.
"Tell me young man," said his potential mother-in-law, "if my daughter marries you, and I give her a substantial dowry, what have you to offer in return?"
The Mulla smiled brightly.
"I WILL GIVE YOU A RECEIPT," he said.

WHO IS Mulla Nasrudin

Mulla Nasrudin Origins and HistoryMulla Nasrudin tales have been passed down for many centuries. It is thought that the Mulla Nasrudin character is based on a real man who lived in the 1300s. However, many countries claim to be the origin of the actual Mulla Nasrudin character and his tales, and it remains uncertain where the man lived and the stories started.

But whatever the origins of Mulla Nasrudin are, pinpointing them has become a trivial point. As generations went by, new stories were added, others were modified, and the character and his tales spread to broader regions. The types of themes and wisdom in his tales have become legendary products of a variety of people’s observations and imaginations. And although most of them depict Nasrudin in an early small village setting, the tales deal with concepts that have relevance to today’s universe and people.

Today, Mulla Nasrudin stories are told in a wide variety of regions, and have been translated into many languages. (It can only be assumed that some regions independently developed a character similar to Mulla Nasrudin, and the stories have become assimilated together.)

In many regions, Mulla Nasrudin is a major part of the culture, and is quoted or alluded to frequently in daily life. Since there are thousands of different Nasrudin stories, one can be found to fit almost any occasion.

Sufis also use Nasrudin stories frequently as learning and meditation tools, similar to the way Zen Buddhism practitioners use koans.

REFERENCE BOOKS
The Humorous Stories of Mulla Nasrudin 
the Funny Tales of Mulla Nasrudin 
Timeless Tales of Mulla Nasrudin 
The Inscrutable Mulla Nasrudin Episodes